I've recently learned that I am not a very good listener.
My wife, Joy, has been telling me this for years, but I was not paying attention as I should have been, and missed her point entirely.
You see, I am a visual learner. I remember things that I see in writing. I love to read, and can recall details from reports, online articles, books and magazines clearly. I can not recall the name of the person I met at church this morning, but they had a great smile and I will remember the face.
From an article by a Chinese scholar named Ms. Jianying Lu, I learned, "Listening is an active process that requires attention to the speaker in order to appropriately react and respond." (Lu, 2005).
My listening is not very active, as I am concentrating on appropriate, polite reactions, nodding, smiling, and all the other conventional responses that are expected. Somehow the name just does not get retained. (If I get a business card, I remember forever.) Now in the business setting, this can be a crippling attribute. I can go to networking events, and heaven help me if I don't get a business card because I simply do not retain the name I should. This is something I must work on.
Blogging allows us to engage in conversations with certain aspects of a person's life, and with the identity that person chooses to employ. (Gurak, A. 2008). I am much more likely to remember their name, too.
Which is why I like World Race blogs. I can read and reread a blog whenever I want, and I retain the information much longer, and more accurately. There are usually good photos, too, of exotic locations that I will never see in person.
The ability to respond is just a great extra feature for me, too, so I can reach out to the World Race teams all over the world and let them know I am thinking abou them. I have heard that these responses are valuable, so I encourage each of you to do the same. You will be creating better mental health for those World Race kids we love.
So, go read a blog. You will learn something new, I promise. Beware, there may be references to unusual foods.
Reference:
Lu, J. 2005. The Lifestyle Inventory (LSI) as an Instrument for Improving Listening Skill, Sino-US English Teaching, May 2005, Volume 2, No. 5 (Serial No. 17).
Gurak, Laura J. 2008. The Psychology of Blogging, American Behavioral Scientist, Vol. 52, Number 1, pp.60-68.
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4 comments:
Steve,
I can really relate to the things you said in your blog. I, too, am not the greatest with names, but always remember peoples' faces.
Being an "active listener" is tough. With any luck, it's an area we'll all grow stronger in during our time in this program.
Liz
Steve J.,
I love your blogs. And I especially love that you properly cite your blogs with bibliographic information. That's awesome!
Eating tarantula in Cambodia isn't that weird... is it? :)
Lauren M.
blogs and blog comments are MUY importante!! Keep em coming!
Dad-
Is this why I never got an allowance? B/c you weren't listening when I asked? HAHA.
In all seriousness though I remember the day when you picked me up from HS and I walked by a girl I knew and said hello but I didn't use her name. You told me to always say someone's name when greeting them. I see you do this all the time-and now I do it. I love to freak people out b/c I never forget a face either...and I usually remember their name...maybe yours is due to age. LOL And you thought I was all Joy. :)
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